The post that I've had on my heart but haven't had the words to write.
God has been moving in my heart. I've been scared though. Scared to get out of the boat. The title of this home of mine on the web is called My Walk By Faith. But am I walking by faith? Or am I walking in fear? Fear of hurt. Fear of failure. Fear that God won't provide even though His Word clearly assures me that He will.
I fear and fail daily. I wish that I had the courage to get out of the boat. To give cheerfully and not fearfully. We want to teach Emerie to be giving, love others, and to show God's love and compassion to others. I have been considering sponsoring a child through Compassion International. To give back to those who need it more than we do. What would I have to sacrifice to do that? A meal out at a restaurant? My view of this world is so small. I have more than I need and I grumble and complain that I can't travel or shop as much as I want to. Other mothers don't have enough food for their children, blankets for them, beds, clean water. I can't imagine struggling to survive everyday. I can't imagine living in a house with a dirt floor when I spend time every week (ok, every other week?!) keeping my house free of dust. I can't imagine life differently because this life is what I am used to. And so often it's taken for granted. I've been praying about this a lot and thinking about it and researching. My sorority sister started sponsoring a child from Nicaragua and recently went on a Compassion International trip to meet her sponsored child. I asked her about it and the response I got was exactly as I expected it to be. It changed her life and the life of the child she is helping.
I've been selfish long enough. I wrestled with whether or not I should sponsor a child, but yet I have paid for an unused gym membership for months?! So I did it. I got out of the boat.
I am so excited to be a sponsor to a little girl named Estefani from Guatemala. I pray that what little I give will be a blessing in her life. This post is not to congratulate myself or brag that I am helping someone in need, it's a reminder to myself that God is faithful if we trust in him. That God is in control. It's to look back on the struggle that I had making the decision to get out of the boat and serve Him. And to be thankful for all of my blessings. And if it encourages someone else put their faith into action then that's just another blessing.
My heart is full.
Matthew 14: 28-31
28 “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”
29 “Come,” he said.
Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”
31 Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”
everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must
help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’ ”
*This post is not sponsored by Compassion International but it is written by a new Compassion International Sponsor!! :)